Citizen Profile: Mochi (The Chief Vibe Officer)
Citizen Profile: Mochi (The Chief Vibe Officer)
Category: Department of Vibes | Tags: Intern Life, Skater Boy, Office Hazards
The Bio: If Salaryman Cat is the hardworking engine of Happy Happy World, our intern, Mochi, is the unauthorized energy drink spilled directly into the fuel tank.
Officially, Mochi was hired to file paperwork and assist with basic administrative tasks. Unofficially, he has crowned himself the Chief Vibe Officer. He does not know how to use spreadsheets. He has never sent a fax. But he does know how to kickflip over the water cooler, and he currently controls the company social media accounts with terrifying efficiency.
While the rest of the office is focused on deadlines and product launches, Mochi can usually be found doing laps around the conference table on his skateboard or secretly recording our CEO napping on the subway for "viral content." (Management is currently reviewing the HR guidelines regarding this behavior.)
The Boss's Perspective: We asked Salaryman Cat for an official performance review of his intern.
He rubbed his temples, sighed deeply, and stated: "He doesn't know how to use Excel. But he did show me how to use a ring light, so now my Zoom calls look fantastic. I can't fire him; he has more followers than the company."
Happy Happy Stats:
-Profession: Intern / Self-Appointed Chief Vibe Officer.
-Superpower: Can ollie over a stack of unpaid invoices without knocking them over.
-Favorite Content Strategy: Zooming in on Salaryman Cat’s snot bubble while he naps.
-Favorite Order: The Double Smash Burger (he claims he needs the calories for "shredding").
-Known Rivals: The Office Paper Shredder (it ate his favorite bandana) and the corporate dress code.
The Verdict: Mochi might be the cause of 90% of our office noise complaints—and 100% of Salaryman Cat's social media embarrassment—but we cannot fire him. He is the only one who knows the Wi-Fi password, and his videos unfortunately get a lot of views.
Stay Happy. — The Happy Happy Editorial Team
