EXCLUSIVE: The Sushi Roll Speaks

EXCLUSIVE: The Sushi Roll Speaks

By: The Happy Happy Editorial Team

We met Sushi Hi-Hi at a secluded booth in the back of the internet. He was fashionably late, rolling in (literally) wearing nothing but a sheet of premium nori.

As the face of our sushi tees, he’s the biggest celebrity in the shop right now. But is life always easy when you are delicious? We sat down with the icon himself to ask the hard questions.

Q: First things first. Do you get dizzy from all the rolling?

Sushi Hi-Hi: "Look, people think I roll for fun. I don't. It’s transportation. You have legs; I have cylindrical aerodynamics. Do I get dizzy? Sometimes. But you just have to find your center of gravity. Usually, that’s the avocado."

Q: Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Chopsticks.

Sushi Hi-Hi: (Visibly shudders) "Please. We call them 'The Wooden Claws.' It’s a love-hate relationship. On one hand, it’s nice to be held. On the other hand, have you ever been squeezed by two giant trees? It’s high-pressure work. Literally."

Q: You have a signature look—the wink. Is that a flirtatious move?

Sushi Hi-Hi: "I’m going to break some hearts here: It’s not a wink. A piece of wasabi fell into my eye in 2019 and it still burns. I’m not flirting; I’m in pain. But hey, it looks good on a t-shirt, right?"

Q: What is your advice for the humans wearing your merch?

Sushi Hi-Hi: "Stay fresh. Don’t get soggy. And if life tries to dip you in soy sauce, just absorb it and taste better."